There are many things you can do to avoid heartbreak in your relationship. Although Love is a beautiful thing, yet you need to put somethings into consideration if you truly want your relationship to be free of heartbreaks.
As money is the lubricant that oils the wheels of the gospel, so also love is the power house and engine room of a successful relationship.
Love adds salt to food. It adds taste to a tasteless situation. It adds cold water to a thirsty soul and above all, it gives hope to the heart and mind of those that have long forgotten it.
Despite all these, you are still likely to experience heartbreak at some point in your life unless you are willing to isolate yourself completely from the market of relationship and marriage.
This is because no one can live a happy and fulfilling life in isolation.
However, what doesn’t have to happen once your heart has been broken is for you to heap more heartbreak on top of it. There are some common mistakes people make that add insult to injury, so to speak.
Things To Do To Avoid Heartbreak
1. Know What You Want
When it comes to relationships, you have to know the type of relationship and partner you want and head towards the direction of your needs. Never settle for less than you deserve. Most people believe they can change a person, but this assumption is wrong.
No one can be changed except they want to be changed. It is really difficult to change a person. As the saying goes: “you can take the donkey to the stream, but you cannot force it to drink the water.” So know what you really want and who should be your ideal partner. When things are clear in your mind, it will affect your dating at well.
2. Be Sure Of The Relationship
Going on dates before deciding to be in a relationship is a way to avoid getting your heartbroken. Instead of being quick to label your relationship with the other person, spend some casual time doing fun activities together, such as dining out, walking in the park or going bowling. These lightweight dates will help you determine if your date is a good fit or not.
3. Don’t Be Too Emotionally Attached
When you date someone, don’t be too emotionally in love. Be a tad more practical while dating. If you get too emotional, then there are chances you would suffer if it does not work out in future. So, don’t get too attached to the person in life. Just go with the flow of the moment. If it’s for life, then you would know for sure.
4. Communicate Often And Openly
Communication is the backbone of every relationship. Understand that everything you do is sending a message which people will try to decipher into information. The expressions you wear on your face, the way you walk, and your words are all forms of communication.
Speak with the person; communicate your feelings clearly and don’t be vague or send “hints”, as these could be misconstrued.
5. Willingness To Compromise
You really need to be able to show a willingness to compromise whenever you are dating someone. You have to understand that relationships are always going to require two people coming together and meeting each other halfway. And if you want to give your relationship a shot, you need to be willing to adjust a little bit.
6. Listen And Observe
To avoid wasting your time on any meaningless relationship you have to be an observer. People reveal who they are by what they say and how they behave. You just have to pay attention to the details about them.
Their past relationships particularly tell what they are capable of. If they can break the heart of their ex, what makes you different? Do not assume “we have a connection” and ignore all the red flags. However, if you think that your man is playing away, then ask him for the truth, because if you ignore it, it will only make the inevitable breakup even more painful when it comes.
7. Don’t Rush Into Things
Take things steady, even when you think you have met the One you want to spend the rest of your life with, don’t rush into things so as not to be disappointed as times goes on. The idea of whirlwind romances sounds wonderful, but they rarely go the distance. If he is really the One, then he’s not going to mind you taking things slowly at first.
8. Invest More On Yourself And Your Goal
Don’t get carried away with that relationship that you forget to take care of yourself. Remember no one wish to settle down with a liability. Invest more in your career and become an irresistible person to your partner. Also, don’t lose sight of your own goals, love is great and it is a wonderful feeling, but it shouldn’t be the only thing in your life.
Keep your hobbies, interests and follow your own dreams, because you are more than just the other half of a relationship. Your life is your own and, so long as you never lose sight of that, you will always have something else to concentrate on, if love doesn’t quite work out the way you had hoped it would.
9. Regularly Check Up On Each Other
Learn to check in on one another on a regular basis with regards to your feelings and thoughts about the relationship. There are plenty of people out there who just keep their ill feelings and negative emotions to themselves. And what ends up happening is that it deteriorates the relationship even further. It can drive two people further apart.
10. Don’t Expect Too Much
It may be fun to fantasize about perfect situations, but expecting these to become a reality will only bring heartache. Learning to accept a person the way they are – flaws and all – is important in a relationship. Understand that you may end up in difficult situations with them, or you both may make mistakes. However, the key is to work through your problems together, as well as finding the lesson in every circumstance.
You need to stay realistic with your expectations. The more overblown your expectations are, the likelier it is that you are going to end up getting hurt. Even if you have set your own expectations for one another, it is important that you be honest and open about them with each other. Your partner is not a mind-reader. And they are not going to be able to fulfill your expectations unless you communicate it to them in a very clear and honest manner.
11. Listen To What Other People Are Saying
You can date whoever you want, but it is still wise to listen to what other people say about your man. If your friends and family don’t seem to like your guy, there could be very good reasons for that. Sometimes, people who are not in the relationship can see far more, than the person who is in love.
Always pay attention to what your family and friends have to say about your relationship. Naturally, you would always be the one who makes the final decision with regards to your love life. But you always want to be opening yourself up to an outsider’s perspective. They might be seeing a few things that you’re missing.
12. Talk About The Relationship
When you are starting to feel that the relationship could be really going places, make sure that he feels the same way. Try and find out what his plans for the future are, and tell him how you are feeling about the relationship. You don’t want to find yourself saying: ‘But I thought you wanted the same things as I do’.
13. Accept The Situation
You must always keep an open mind in life whether in things or in relationships. When you date with an open mind, things would be much easier for you. So, accept the situation according to the status of the relationship. If you and your partner are meant to be together, this would be a long term commitment. And, if it does not happen, then accept the situation so that you will save yourself from heartbreak.
14. Realize That Relationships Change
People are not stagnant; they move around and change their minds and beliefs. Understand that the dynamic of your relationship will change over time. Learn to appreciate the change for what it is. Pining over what it was like in the beginning of your relationship will hurt you in the end.
15. Don’t Base Your Relationship On Sex
The bitter truth is that you can’t use sex to tie him down and don’t be deceived having sex before marriage is not a symbol of love but lust. So don’t open your legs but your brain and eyes in a relationship. Although, there are plenty of couples out there who have sex early in the relationship and are still able to make their relationships last.
It is perfectly possible to have sex early on and still have a long-term relationship with one another. However, when you have sex with someone early on, it can cloud your inhibitions. Sex can lead you to behave and assess things in a very biased manner that may not be good for you.
16. Watch Out For Red Flags
If you want to avoid heartbreak in a relationship, then watch out for red flags in the relationship. You would know whether you have a bright future with your partner or not. Red flags such as an abusive relationship or lack of respect will let you know the future of the relationship. A love relationship is about love, understanding and companionship, so do watch out for these things.
17. Don’t Be Afraid To Walk Away
Above all, if you know that things just aren’t right for you, then make sure that you find the strength and willpower to walk away. Be honest with yourself. If things just aren’t meant to be, then there is no point in forcing the issue. Don’t invest yourself further and further into something that you know isn’t going to last anyway. Remember some relationships are for a reason, others are for a season. Only a few are for a lifetime. If doesn’t work out, don’t kill yourself. Discover the purpose and move on.
18. Don’t Go Into Rebound Dating
While it is important to move on and be around other people, beware of rebound dating. Rebound dating is when you jump into a new relationship without getting to know the person in the hopes that this new relationship will heal your broken heart. Unfortunately, rebound dating usually results in another break up and more heart-break.
Examine Yourself If You Are The problem
Remember that in a relationship, it always takes two to tango. And you have to consider the possibility that probably you are the cause for your own heartbreak. Try to see what role you have played in all of your previous relationships and assess how your actions could have contributed to your heartbreaking experiences and try to see if you are the problems in all your relationship
Work On Your Weaknesses
A broken heart should never be experienced by anyone. You need to sit down and analyze your weaknesses in relationships. No one ever wants to buy a broken phone; they would rather wait until they can afford a new phone. The same concept applies to relationships; no one wants to date a broken partner. Many people believe that heartbreak can never be avoided but if you work on your weaknesses you are most likely to protect yourself.