Insecurity is one of the most complex and annoying feelings ever. For some folks, it can come out of nowhere and you don’t know why you are feeling so down on yourself or having inferiority complex.
While for others, it is there all the time. Insecurity sucks, and it can suck even more when you see someone you love experience it too, because it can feel like making them feel better is out of your control.
But when your partner is insecure, there are ways you can help them through it. The first step? Try not to worry too much. The fact that you are wondering how to help in the first place is already proof you are a great partner.
Regardless of how “perfect” someone may seem, we all have things about ourselves that we would change if given the chance. For the vast majority of people, having a few insecurities are a totally normal part of everyday life.
however, dealing with very deep-seated insecurities can feel like a non-stop struggle. Being in healthy relationships with insecure people can be very difficult. Few things are sadder than loving someone who doesn’t love themselves, mostly because they simply can’t appreciate all of the truly amazing qualities that made you fall in love with them in the first place.
Ways To Cope With An Insure Partner
Before completely getting yourself involved in a relationship with someone with insecurities and esteem issues, you need to be sure that you are willing and ready to deal with the intricacies and complications of such relationship.
There are ways to make your partner feel more comfortable in your relationship; by doing big and small things to show them that they do matter to you.
Concise News brings you a compilation of things you can do to make your insecure partner to be secure in the relationship they are with you.
1. Give Meaningful Compliments
Compliment is always a great way to boost someone’s self-esteem or self-confidence. If your partner looks really nice in a one day, don’t be unwilling to mention it. Compliments should be meaningful and you will want to be sure that you aren’t giving the same compliment over and over. Compliment your partner on his/her clothes, hair, smile, features, personality, attitude, and so on. You will also likely get a few compliments in return.
But ensure you don’t over-compliment because over-complimenting can take away the meaning of your compliments.
2. Be A Good Listener
An insecure partner will likely talk about his/her problems in random spurts. You will want to be sure that you always have a willing and ready ear. Being a good listener allows you to understand your partner’s problems and will lessen the severity of their insecurity when you pay keen attention to the details of their worries. Always remember that good communication in a relationship goes along with being a good listener.
3. Always Tell Them You Love Them
It is important you keep reminding your partner how much you love and care so much about them on a daily basis. This will give them the reassurance of your love and they will believe you won’t let go of them for anything. You might not know but saying you love them is like a validation key to someone with insecurity most especially if it is coming from someone they love.
4. Do Random Nice Acts
Random acts of kindness will go far when you are in a relationship with someone who is insecure. Leave her a vase full of flowers one morning after she goes to work. Buy him something that you know he will value and love to have. These random and unexpected acts show that you really truly care about the person you are dating. The emotions these acts stir up will help make the insecurity go away in time.
5. Don’t Give Them Reason To Doubt You
If you truly love someone and believe your relationship can still work out, don’t give him or her a reason to doubt you. Build trust with your insecure partner.
But if you are unsure about someone, don’t date him or her. It’s bad enough to date someone you are unsure of, to begin with.
6. Respect Their Limits And Boundaries
If your partner is insecure, it is likely that your partner will have one or two boundaries. Maybe showering together is off-limits for now or somethings they don’t want in the relationship at the start. Whatever the boundary may be, learn to respect it. Once you two get more comfortable with each other, you may want to get a bit daring and push those boundaries. That way they don’t become overbearing or troublesome.
7. Be Prepared For Slow Change
The change won’t happen overnight. After a few months of a happy relationship, you will might notice that your partner is slowly becoming less insecure and more self-confident. When this happens, keep going, and take pride in the fact that you have helped change someone for the better.
8. Realize You May Need To Work A Little Harder To Earn Their Trust.
Insecure people may have been burned in the past in a relationship. Realize that it is not you, but things they are afraid of. Don’t make them feel bad or take it as an insult. Realize it is not you and that even if you are doing everything right, you may just have to put in that extra effort. If they are worth it to you, then it is worth doing.
9. Be Supportive
Being with someone who is insecure can be challenging sometimes. There are times when we are comparing ourselves to others; times we wish we can change aspects of ourselves; times when we are extra down on ourselves, which in turn, makes us all slightly insecure. Your partner may be sensitive about different and many things like their weight, look, height and some other body concern.
The good thing is some of these things can be worked on and when your partner decides to work on these things, it would be wise to bend over and support.
10. Don’t Be Overly Flirtatious With Others
Most times, we all find ourselves attracted to other people aside from our partners, and some of us are a bit flirty by nature. However, when you are dating someone who is already lacking confidence and security, you will want to avoid pointing this out. Don’t stare down other people at the mall our flirt with the waiter at dinner. Do your best to show your partner that your eyes are only for him or her.
11. Don’t Add to the problem
Someone who is insecure is already a little soft and vulnerable, and you will want to make sure that you don’t make matters worse. When possible, avoid putting your partner down and definitely avoid making that person feel less than what he or she really is. If you argue, avoid the insults and personal attacks. Be respectful of your partner’s feelings or else you may dig an ever deeper hole.
12. Don’t Keep Relationship Hidden
It is rude in all relationships to keep your partnership hidden from your friends and family. When you are dating someone who is insecure, you want to show that you are happy, proud, and confident in the relationship. To do this, don’t shy away from telling others that you are dating so-and-so. By sharing this, especially with those closest to you, your partner will see and feel that you are secure and proud of the relationship.
13. Don’t Pretend The Insecurities Aren’t There
Face the fact, your partner is insecure. Even if insecurity makes the relationship a bit tougher, it is never wise to simply pretend that the insecurity does not exist. Putting it behind while trying to forget about it won’t do anything positive for the relationship.
14. Don’t Be Afraid To Ask Questions
To avoid hitting major roadblocks in your relationship, we believe it is important to initiate judgment-free, vulnerable conversations by asking open-ended questions. This will, hopefully, encourage your partner to open up about his or her fears.
It is important that you don’t let your partner’s insecurity undermine your own needs and happiness. You can help by saying: ‘I get this topic affects/bothers you’, ‘I get this is hard for you’, ‘I am here to listen’ ‘I am not going to judge’, and ‘I want to hear what’s going on for you.’
15. Don’t Let Their Issues Become Your Issues
The biggest risk of dating someone who is extremely insecure is that the person might start making it your job to keep his or her self-esteem up. This can become a huge problem. It’s important to realize that your partner’s insecurity has nothing to do with you. Your partner may lash out at you in arguments, but that does not imply you are the problem.
16. Decide If You Are Willing To Tolerate The Insecurity
Dating someone who is insecure is a tough task on its own, but matters become easier or harder, depending on the insecurities that your partner has. Before you sink deeply in love, make sure that you are ready and willing to deal with your partner’s insecurities. If you are not, end it, immediately.
17. Learn How To Help Your Partner Out Of Insecurities
Many people respond to jealousy by expecting their partners to simply “get over it.” Not only is that approach uncharitable, it isn’t practical, either. Insecurities are usually fueled by painful memories that are untouched by efforts to prod or shame the partner into silence. Self-examination is the necessary medicine, not self-discipline. You can be part of the solution by patiently creating the safest possible setting for real healing to occur.
You can start by communicating with your partner. When an insecure person is forced to fill in the blanks, his or her assumptions are likely to be dominated by worry and doubt. Do your best to preempt that reflex. Be generous with your affection to him/her. Remember the power of touch is a tremendous aid in healing from all sorts of wounds, physical and emotional.
18. Don’t Throw Their Insecurities In Their Face.
The worst thing you can do to someone who is insecure is reminding the partner constantly. That’s the worst possible thing to do because it’s like taking 10 steps back in any situation. It will be a bit more work to date someone who is insecure, but, realize that in the end, the more you try, the less insecure this person will be as he or she will grow to trust you.
19. Don’t Tell Others About Your Partner’s Insecurities
Relationships are bound to have hiccups and there are sure to be times when you want to talk to friends and family members about problems in the relationship. While there is nothing wrong with this, avoid explicitly saying that your partner is really insecure or lacking self-confidence. This can easily become a problem if your partner finds out. It is bound to only make him/her feel even worse.
20.Try to Help As Much As Possible
Aside compliments and avoiding personal insults, help your partner become more secure. Show your love and care and be willing to listen always. Letting your partner vent and communicate with you will really make the healing process a lot easier. With the right amount of listening and care, you will find that your partner slowly, but surely, comes around.
The only thing you can do is to ensure you try and work together, and remind your partner that he or she is loved. But also keep in mind that you can’t hold yourself completely responsible for someone else’s feelings. You deserve an equal relationship – one where both partners are equally there to support each other. Don’t be afraid to let them know that.