Spinsterhood is time to work on yourself

By Princess Adedoyin Adediwura

So, this person called me to wish me happy new year, we haven’t spoken in years, and next she’s asking when I’m getting married.

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“You know you’re not getting younger, look for one man and settle down. What’s wrong with you ladies of nowadays, you’re not contented with what you have!”

That was it for me, I ended the call and sent her my introduction pictures. She called back and I didn’t pick.

Her words; pick a man and settle down!

Dear single sister, a man isn’t some sort of beans or vegetable for you to pick. You’re a queen in your kingdom, ruling and waiting for that one prince, whose four eyes (eyesight, hindsight, foresight, and spiritual), are open to see you in your ‘queenly’ form and decides to be the king ruling next to you.

The single status isn’t a disease of any form, its not a plague either. Its funny how your cool friends stylishly leave you once they joined the married league, forgetting how cool you guys were together and failed to realise your ‘single advises’ made them better too.

The single status is the time to work on yourself, better your attitudes, learn as much as you can to take into your home, it is what you learn while single that you will teach and imbibe in your kids.

It is the time to have a plan of how you want your home to be. It is the time to really build up your personal queenly empire; learn trades, build your career.

It is the time to be very close to your God and find your purpose on earth. It is the time to be contented, but not satisfied; always searching for knowledge.

No right man in his right senses will let such a queen pass him by. Be that woman any man will forever wish he had married. Age, my dear is just a number, in as much as the years weren’t wasted.

No. Its not easy for me to say because I’m engaged. Its easy for me to say because I’ve been there. Heard all sort, combined with the fact that I’m a single mother.

In fact, there was a time I just want to get married, to whoever. I dreamt of so many wedding gowns. After series of heartbreaks, I swore never to be married. Yes, it was that bad.

Singleness, is just a status, it doesn’t define your queenly state or who you really are. Be focused. Ignore the noise, put your eyes on the prize.

Remember, only a man determines who he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Don’t chase after them, they are not blind.

And to you uncles, aunties, mummies and daddies. Cut us some slacks. Its my wedding, my marriage. It will be done when I’m ready, and it will be just once for the rest of my life.